It is all about listening

From day one we are learning to speak, starting top mumble sounds until there is some sense it, we even take debate skill classes to learn how to speak in public. But did we ever learn how to listen?

We hear one each other, but are we listening to what others are saying?

As stated in previous post when supporting customer we need to start listen first to their complaint.

Levels of listening

There are three basic levels of listening that we are using in any given moment. The default one known as “Hearing words” where in this level we hear the other party of the conversation but we are under a misconception that we are listening, causing us to misunderstand the message , or worse, jump into conclusion, in most cases, the wrong one. The second level, “Listening in Spurts”, hearing bursts, part of the contentment. We aware that our listening is degraded, tuning up ourselves from time to time. The third level, the one that we are most likely skill-less known as “Empathetic Listening”, where we need to learn to set aside distractions as well as provide the right feedback, during the conversation, so the other party will know they have our full attention.      

Empathetic Listening

Empathic listening, also known as active listening is the way that one party is listening and responding to the other which mutual understanding and trust.

Empathy is not sympathy. Whereas sympathy is "feeling for someone," empathy is "feeling as someone."

Here is an example: one that is running late for a meeting might say, "I spilled a mug of coffee on my pants this morning." An active listening response might be, "You spilled some coffee on you?" or "Did it hurt?" Another response might be, "So I understand that you needed to change suit”. Whatever the response, it is intended to clarify the facts or information being presented and to identify and respond to the emotions or feelings of the other person.

By improving your empathetic listening technique you will be able to manage and avoid disruptive and assaultive, allowing you better focus on the content of the conversation, which is a service request call you have just received.

The Chi­nese char­ac­ters which make up the verb “to lis­ten” tell us some­thing sig­nif­i­cant about this skill. In the Chinese language, the active verb “to listen” is created with three major characters: ears, eyes and heart.  If one of these elements is missing—you aren’t really listening. We hear with our ears. We listen with our hearts.

Five simple steps

Follow the advised five simple steps listed below, it will place you in a better situation for addressing all key issue.

Undivided attention: be focused and provide the speaker your full attention. Ding “multi-tasking” chores will cause to “Listening in Spurts” syndrome. It will get you in trouble.

Don’t be prejudice: be a non-judgemental and non-prejudice the speakers issue.

Feel the speaker: “Read between the lines”, try to observe the emotions behind the words. Is the speaker angry, frustrated or resentful? Respond to the emotion as well as the case itself.

Be Quiet: You don’t need to have an immediate reply. In some cases when you allow for some quiet after your party has vented, they themselves will break the silence and may offer a solution.

Assure your understanding: Ask your party clarifying questions. Restate what you perceive.